do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
