Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
