apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
