you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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