found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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