Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
