remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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