margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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