Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
