Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
