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there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
