I'm really into asian looking animals
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
