You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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