dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
