): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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