youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
