btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
