oh god the rape fog is back!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize