she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
