im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
