Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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