I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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