I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
