Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
