she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
