That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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