Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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