Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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