Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
