Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
