Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
