Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
