So drunk its hurt
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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