he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
