I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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