i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize