Your tits are I can't wait for
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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