im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
