Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
