just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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