I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
