I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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