I wish my penis had an off switch
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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