Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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