He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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