She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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