In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
