All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Fuck appropriateness.
Sober January is a disaster.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
