I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
