There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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