hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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