You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
