I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
