East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
