Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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