The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
